What Does “Doing The Work” Look Like?

If you spend any time on mental health TikTok or Instagram, you’ve probably heard the phrase: "Do the work.”

It sounds so noble. Like someone journaling by a window with perfect lighting, or meditating on a mountaintop at sunrise.

But if you’ve been on a growth journey, you know the truth: "Doing the work" is usually messy, awkward, and happens at the most inconvenient times.

Doing the work may look like this:

• Having a full-blown meltdown in the car because something your partner said triggered a 25-year-old wound, and then actually telling them about it instead of stuffing it down.

• Going to visit your family and noticing yourself slip into your "old role" (the peacekeeper, the clown, the scapegoat) and trying, however clumsily, to act differently.

• Saying "I need a minute" when you want to explode, and actually taking that minute instead of slamming doors.

• Apologizing. Not the "I'm sorry you felt that way" kind, but the real kind where you own your stuff.

It’s not linear, either (cliche.. but true).

Some weeks you’ll feel like a confident, thriving, healed badass. Other weeks, you’ll cry because someone looked at you wrong and suddenly you’re 8 years old again. That’s okay. That’s part of it.

Healing isn't about achieving a perfect state of "fixed." It’s about building a different relationship with yourself. It’s about catching yourself when you fall into old patterns and whispering, "Oh, there you are. I see you. We don't have to do that anymore."

If you're tired of scrolling past the aesthetic Instagram version of "healing" and ready to get your hands dirty with the real, messy work of understanding yourself, let's connect. You don't have to do it alone! 🫶🏻